Prelude to Death
by Emerald Eyed Dragon
Summary: complete. thoughts of captured duo (not necessarily physically captured). symbolism. this could work indepently; doenst have to be gw. r&r, please. critisism welcome. if you want it to continue, or a sequel, or anything, tell me the idea, and i'll do it.
1. Part One

cold and wet I lie alone  
  
in your prison, in your hell  
  
it matters not why I'm here  
  
for the deed's already done  
  
no matter what I did  
  
I'm trapped here in this room  
  
cement walls and beautiful sorrow  
  
forevermore my sole companions  
  
no beacons of hope  
  
no window of chance  
  
the odds aren't stacked, though  
  
because there are no such odds  
  
just a rotten ghost of a soul  
  
in a hollow sickly host  
  
without even an intention  
  
of thinking of escape  
  
there's nowhere to escape to  
  
there's nowhere to hide  
  
I can't go back to your reality  
  
or to the dream world of mine  
  
what's a dream? I've forgotten  
  
don't tell me, I don't want to know  
  
a dream just might kill me now  
  
failure is a clever foe  
  
that just might defeat me  
  
while I lie here  
  
am I still breathing?  
  
I suppose I must be  
  
because I think I'm still alive  
  
because I feel the cold  
  
and wet and pain  
  
you must revel in my hurt  
  
and my beautiful misery  
  
why else would I be here?  
  
why else would I hurt,  
  
except to keep you content?  
  
I can think only of countless reasons  
  
but here the reasons don't matter  
  
reasons don't give a damn about me  
  
and I've learned in here  
  
that I don't give a damn about them  
  
reasons don't know feelings  
  
or what it is to suffer  
  
reasons are cold and heartless  
  
who am I to talk though?  
  
a prisoner to you  
  
a failure, a lie, to them  
  
I'm cold and heartless too  
  
or at least that's what I see  
  
looking at my soul  
  
through a cracked dirty mirror  
  
that exists only in my mind 


	2. Part Two

is that you coming?  
  
to test my dying heart?  
  
to toughen my rock-hard shell?  
  
to kick me while I'm down?  
  
to pick me up and heal me  
  
than kick me while I'm high?  
  
no  
  
it was you though  
  
to throw me some stale bread  
  
and give me some dirty water  
  
if I had the energy left,  
  
I'd scoff at your retreating back  
  
I don't want your dirty bread  
  
I don't need your pretend help  
  
I'll never give you the satisfaction  
  
of being better than me  
  
maybe you are, but I don't care  
  
I'll show you no weakness  
  
that's a complete lie  
  
I wish it was true  
  
I wish I could be strong  
  
but what would it matter if I was brave  
  
for I'm still in this prison  
  
cement walls and beautiful sorrow  
  
as my only companions  
  
bloodstains would be too  
  
if I had the courage and the strength  
  
but I can't grieve for what I don't have  
  
because even I, here with no life,  
  
haven't got a fraction of enough time  
  
for selfish things like that  
  
do they think I'm a hero? am I still a hero?  
  
I remember when I was  
  
that was before you, though  
  
you don't know I'm a warrior  
  
you don't know what I saved  
  
does it matter who I saved  
  
or what I did at all  
  
when we all die anyways?  
  
would they still adore me  
  
as the valiant fighter  
  
if they caught a glimpse of me now,  
  
wallowing in pity, pretending not to hope?  
  
no; I'd be the king of scum  
  
but let me lie to myself  
  
it's all I have here my little web of lies  
  
small lies, but carefully constructed  
  
so that I don't fall through  
  
is this rock bottom?  
  
is this the all-time low?  
  
it very well may be  
  
don't say it can only get better  
  
why don't you think it will stay the same?  
  
why don't you think there's worse,  
  
far, far worse, than rock bottom?  
  
enough with the questions  
  
they don't have answers 


	3. Part Three

when can sadness be beautiful?  
  
when it has no competition  
  
when there's stabbing pain  
  
and stained concrete  
  
and nothing more  
  
I spit at your ideals  
  
as I eat your dirty bread  
  
damn it, I'm a coward  
  
I need you don't I?  
  
only because you forced me to  
  
I depend on you, I need you  
  
at one point my life rested in your hands  
  
you wasted no time though  
  
suffocation it, suffocating me,  
  
in your prison, in your hell  
  
am I still alive?  
  
I suppose I must be  
  
I remember back home,  
  
if you want to call it that,  
  
I always acted happy  
  
but never truly was  
  
what is happy? I don't care  
  
I spoke hollow empty words  
  
and flashed my killer grin  
  
I'm glad now that I lied  
  
so they can cherish him,  
  
the loving, fun guy I kind-of was  
  
instead of who I more so was  
  
a lost mature child, void of innocence  
  
with no living past  
  
only pain death and loss  
  
remember me how I was  
  
I know they will anyways  
  
that reassurance isn't hope  
  
only security  
  
am I really preparing to die?  
  
who would've thought this would be the end?  
  
I can't ask questions  
  
because I can't answer them  
  
I can't lie to myself anymore  
  
because the web's too heavy  
  
and is collapsing within itself  
just like me 


	4. Part Four

what an end this is  
  
for Death himself  
  
I smile at the irony  
  
when was the last time I was happy?  
  
was I ever?  
  
what is happy?  
  
A bittersweet memory of me  
  
will be kept by only four  
  
the ones who are closest to knowing  
  
who the hell I am  
  
A strange feeling passes,  
  
the prelude to death  
  
Maybe this is the end  
  
How many times have I pondered just that?  
  
I was right all along  
  
for part of me died each time  
  
now is different  
  
Omnicide  
  
the murder of all  
  
thinking takes too much energy  
  
so does sitting up  
  
I fall face down  
  
and drown in your stale water  
  
Am I still alive? 


End file.
